Initially this post was dedicated to matric students but I felt like hey, it’s not only matric students who contemplate on taking a gap year. Therefore, whether you’re a matric student who doesn’t know what the next step is or a varsity student who is either in the middle of their degree or just completed their degree and feel like you need a timeout to figure out what’s next, then this one is for you.
Now I mentioned in my previous blog post, So You Want To Study Law, that I took an unplanned gap year after matric. Now a quick background story. What happened was your now aspiring advocate wanted to go to film school after matric (and had been accepted to AFDA Film School). The only problem was my dad who is black and very much African was totally against the idea and therefore stated that unless I changed what I wanted to study, I was going NOWHERE! Annoying and heart-breaking right? (He wanted me to do medicine or accounting. What a LOL because I got 44% for Physics as my final mark. *sips tea*). So yeah I cried for four months straight when 2015 arrived. (Side note: to everyone who wants to pursue something in Film and TV and doesn’t have the support of their family, I FEEL YOUR PAIN. In fact don’t be shy to shoot me a DM and just vent about it. I am willing to cry with you.)
Anyway back to our gap year talk. First, I want to run you through my personal experience with taking a gap year and why I HIGHLY recommend it – more especially after high school. Thereafter, it is my hope and prayer to highlight the benefits of taking a gap year (and of course include the possible embarrassment and snares you might experience from people, especially if you’re from a strict black family).
As mentioned before, my gap year was unplanned and it was no secret that I DESPISED every moment of it. For me, being black, a gap year meant that ‘ushaywe umhlaba’ (basically you have failed in life) – in essence a gap year just meant your life has come to an end and you’ll never make it in life. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Granted, I had a love-hate relationship with my gap year, I will say it was one year out of my 22 years of existence that I appreciate the most because I found myself and grew closer to God like never before. I grew and matured so much in that year that people who knew me when I was high school could hardly believe how much I had grown and matured. (Trust me, even I was a little shook).
The most frequently asked question when it comes to a gap year is: WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? Well, child there is a lot you can do. Personally, I opted to eat, pray and love during my gap year (in addition to improving my math mark because I was not happy with my mark). However, upgrading your matric marks may not be something you want to do and that’s okay because you’re not obligated to do so. Don’t fret though, there are other options for you to explore. If you’re fortunate enough to travel for a year, by all means, spread your wings and fly. I wish I could’ve done that during my gap year but alas circumstances wouldn’t allow and that season just was not for travelling for me. (But I am planning to possibly take a gap year after my second degree to travel. We’ll see thoughJ )
I know some churches offer a year-long internship to do at church. However, one would’ve had to have applied the previous year in order to do so (well this is based on my knowledge with regards to Hillsong Church’s internship. I cannot speak for other churches. There you’d have to do your own research). In essence, a Church Internship is when one takes it upon themselves to dedicate a year of their life to God by interning in a team (e.g production, young adults) in church full time for one year (and you’re not allowed to date during your internship.)
Maybe your gap year might not necessarily be one for doing stuff. It could be similar to mine where God is simply calling you to Himself so that you can grow closer to Him and grow and mature as a person. Granted, you might feel like you’re being idle in this case and all your peers ‘are moving forward with their lives and succeeding.’ I just want to encourage you that that is not the case. You are running your own race at the pace predestined for that race and according to the grace that has been bestowed upon you to run your race. Do NOT allow society to trap you into some timeline as though you do not have a Creator who divinely recorded all the days ordained for you in His book.
I want to now speak specifically speak to those of you who are thinking of upgrading their matric marks or possibly dropping out of varsity to take a break. First off, I want you to know that it is not going to be easy. Especially because people are going to talk. It’s a given. People are going to have something say and 80% if the time it is not going to be nice. It is going to be based on the assumption that you are a failure of some sort and what have you. But I want to encourage you to keep walking with your head held high. When I walked into that math exam room, at my old high school, I could feel my juniors looking at me like ‘what happened? Oh how you have fallen. I thought you were smart.’ (Obviously these were merely voices in my head but it didn’t take away from the fact that your girl felt super ashamed). In that moment, I felt like shouting out in the exam room and letting everyone know that “Hey I don’t need to write this exam. I have already been accepted to three universities without having upgraded my marks. I’m just here because I didn’t like my final math mark. That’s all. Thank you. You can stop staring now.” In that moment, I had to call myself out and be like why do you feel the need to constantly prove yourself to others? Who cares what they think? Heck, they probably not evening thinking about you, I mean we’re all writing Maths today so the last thing that’s on their mind is why YOU are here. And so I wrote my exam and carried on with my life.
In summary, here’s why I’d recommend taking a gap year:
*You honestly have no clue what exactly it is that you should be doing next. (I’d rather one delay going forward a bit than to aimlessly pursue something that won’t get them where they are supposed to be.)
*You honestly feel like God is calling you to take the year off and dedicate it to Him
*What you’re currently pursuing is proving to be less than fruitful and you know that you know that you know that you shouldn’t be pursuing it in the first place but on the other hand you stay pursuing because you don’t know what else to do but settle for where you’re NOT supposed to be (honestly, it’s a complete waste of time to aimlessly pursue something when you could be pursuing purpose)
*You have childhood wounds and issues you haven’t really dealt with. If you’re honest with yourself, you swept under the carpet the fact that you haven’t healed from a loved one’s death or seen someone concerning your depression. Whatever past issue you need to heal from, a gap year is PERFECT for confronting and healing from those issues. I personally took the time to admit, for the very first time, that I was not okay and that it was okay not to be okay. I took the time to properly heal from my mom’s death which had happened four year’s prior, I took time to forgive and let go of some people and reconcile with others.
I honestly believe that had I not taking the time to do my HEART WORK, I would NOT have survived varsity and my first degree the way I did. See, if you don’t take time to do your heart work and deal with those issues of the heart, that transition from high school to varsity is going to hit you so hard.
*A gap year is especially great post-high school because you get to really discover yourself and find your identity. Let’s be real for two seconds. In high school, no one really knows who they are and everyone is getting by on peer pressure and societal pressure, meaning everyone is having some degree of identity crisis and needs to be rescued before this ever changing world decides to define people based on what they do or what they have.
To my black parents, whether your child’s gap year is planned or unplanned, instead of attaching an unnecessary stigma to their decision to take a gap year, support them and help them on their journey of discovering themselves and finding their purpose. Putting them down and telling the who’s who of your neighborhood that your child is a disgrace (just because they didn’t go study medicine at UCT so you could look good at the next family gathering) is not going to help anyone, least of all your child.
To you taking a gap year, whether post matric, dropping out or postgrad, you’re not a failure and a gap year is not a bad decision (unless you know for a fact that you should be doing something else). On the contrary, it can be one of the best decisions of your life if you allow it. Allow yourself to grow, mature and blossom in this season of your gap year. Don’t live your life vicariously through those who have continued on with their studies or gone on to get a job. Focus on finding yourself and being firm in your identity so that when you finally step out and do eventually go study or work, you’ll be able to withstand all the pressures of varsity or the workplace.
Here’s to discovering yourself and finding your purpose, one day at a time.
Much love,
The Aspiring Advocate.
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