So most universities across the country just concluded their final exams and wrapped up their year-end graduation ceremonies. Results are out and you didn’t do well as you thought you would. Worse, you failed a module (or for some of you, it might have been more than one module). Now what? First things first, it’s important to understand that just because you failed a module, it does not mean that you are a failure. You need to separate your circumstance from who you are. The same way me standing in a garage does not make me a car, you failing a module does not make you are failure. One mishap cannot and should not be the sum total of who you are.
Throughout my studies towards my first degree, I have come to realize that not everyone who fails a module is lazy or is always partying. Some people fail because of factors beyond their control. Some fail because of the weight of carrying the weight of their personal issues on their shoulders. Others unexpectedly fall severely sick during their final exams and thus find it difficult to study, let alone write their exams. And let’s be honest, some departments, within certain faculties, have ridiculous standards that are borderline impossible to attain without sacrificing your mental health. Be that as it may, whatever the circumstance that led you to not being able to successfully pass a module, there is hope. Suicide DOES NOT have to be an option. In fact it should not. Granted I personally do not know what it is like to fail a module but I can put myself in the shoes of those who have. Devastation, depression, anxiety, disappointment, hurt – these are but a few of the words that can possibly describe how one feels when one fails a module. I know you wanted to finish your degree in record time. I know you may be somewhat ashamed and embarrassed that your graduation date will pushed back 6 to 12 months (depending on whether it was a prerequisite module or a year module) but I want to encourage you that you WILL make it through.
In this blog post, I will be sharing the stories of people who have been there. These people have shown resilience and maintained poise despite having had to repeat a module. My hope and prayer is that you will draw encouragement and strength from their testimony to keep keeping on.
Much love,
The Aspiring Advocate.
“Failing a module was a very shocking and disappointing experience for me. It was the first time in my life I’ve ever failed at something academically. Throughout high school I was always the first in my grade and the girl who received almost every single one of the academic trophies. So to say I was devastated is quite the understatement. I felt so defeated. I took it upon myself to do some reflection. Where did I go wrong? What could I have done differently? Writing 3 exams within 48 hours can really take its toll and reaching the last one I simply couldn’t live up to what was expected. I was exhausted and emotionally drained from the semester, personal life and exams. I probably could have planned and managed my schedule better but at university (and in life) things very seldom go according to plan. I’m a firm believer that everything in life happens for a reason. I started viewing my failure as a lesson could learn and benefit from. Something to grow from. Failure teaches us more lessons than victory ever will. I realized that I’m definitely not invincible or immune to something as disappointing as repeating a module. Sometimes things are beyond your control and your best efforts are not good enough. With that being said, never let failure go to your heart. Get back up. Dust yourself off. Remember what you are striving towards and do not let a setback be your end. It was meant to grow you and not destroy you. Let it fuel and propel you. Most of the time when you see the beauty of failure, you end up discovering potential you didn’t know you had and strengths that were just waiting to be unleashed. The second time around I was thankfully successful and realized how I enjoyed the work more. Pushing through was so much more rewarding than the alternative of letting the failure cause me to give up completely. I am currently only 2 modules away from graduating and one step closer to my dream.”
– Anonymous, Final Year BCom Law student, University of the Western Cape.
“Throughout primary school and high school, I would get an academic award every single year and I always made sure I was in the Top 5 in my class and top 10 in my grade. That was me. I pushed a lot because I have a passion for learning. I love learning. Then, the first time I failed I was like what happened? I woke up in the morning and I asked myself where I went wrong. I recapped on what I did and I found that it was nothing that I didn’t do. I had attended all my tuts and lectures. I understood the work in class and consulted when necessary. I was sad and indulged in self-condemnation and began to tell myself that I didn’t do my best. It was only later that I realized that the reason why I failed was because I suffered from anxiety. I would say there is that safe ‘anxiety’ one has where you insist on being punctual or doing things on time. For example, when I did EED I always ensured that the week before my assignment was due, it was already finished and all that was left was for me to print it and hand it in. Then somehow overtime, I started developing that bad, almost all-consuming anxiety that leads to a destructive life. I became so anxious that I panicked a lot, even when it came to my academics and not only that, I never knew what it meant to REST. I would panic whilst studying for my exams and when you panic you can’t study. Even though I failed my modules, it was not a fail that fell within the 20s or 30s range. It was your 45s 48s and your 49s and it was painful because I was almost there but not really there which means I was capable enough to get good marks but because anxiety took over my life, I failed my modules. In 2018 I chose to overcome my anxiety. I went to a Pastors Appreciation conference and there I met a powerful man of God who was able to prophetically tell me that I suffered from anxiety and prayed for me. He said “You suffer from anxiety. It is either before you write or when you’re in the process of writing but I could be mistaken.’ I told him it was while I was in the process of studying. See I’m the kind of person who can study for a whole day, obviously with breaks in between, and even having done that, I still couldn’t get anything I was studying in because I was so anxious. So anyway, he prayed for me. And you know, the funny thing with prayer is that we always think that it is an instant thing that is going to work. Obviously it is going to work but you need to apply your faith. So with anxiety, I battled with it first semester, I came to realize that I needed to put in action. I asked myself what I needed to do in order to apply my faith when it came to this anxiety. I found an extra tutor to help me with my modules (which he did a very good job), I started being intentional with my prayers in that I prayed and I applied my faith because every week when I wrote my final exams, I had a certain verse that would carry me all through the week. Yes I’d the bible every single week but I had that one, main verse on my mind. On the second to last week of exams, I had Zechariah 4:6, which reads, ‘So He said to me, ‘This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: Not by might nor by power but by My Spirit says the Lord Almighty. ’And upon meditating on that verse, I felt the Lord telling me that I should trust Him because I only trusted Him to an extent, and when things didn’t work out, I would take matters into my own hands (and I always messed up). I always had a challenge when it came to trusting God because I thought when you had full faith in God, it’s something perfect. But I realized that faith is very messy as you have certain moments when you feel anxious. But I had a sense of comfort. My anxiety disappeared when I had a routine where I’d turn on worship music whilst going on about my daily dealings just to have a pure and peaceful atmosphere and thereafter I would read the word, pray and start my day. My newfound routine was therapeutic and calmed me down. Also, when I felt like my mind was too tired to go on, I rested because I never knew what it meant to rest. My mind forced me to rest. There would be times, while I was studying, I would tell myself that I’d sleep at 4 but come 12 o’clock, I’d be tired and would have to fall asleep and wake up the next day to continue studying. In order to keep my anxiety at bay, I always have to have a routine where I start my day with God and talk to Him and tell Him everything – be completely honest with God about my feelings. Obviously many people are not Christians but it is vital to have a positive routine that will bring you fulfilment while you’re doing what you love. Right now, I’m just grateful I’m at this stage in my life where I’m at peace with the fact that I did my utmost best and I know that God’s got me. When those negative thoughts of “what if you fail again” come, I have learned to cancel them. As a person you need to cancel those negative thoughts and in order to do so, you need to speak life over yourself. You need to confess what it is you’re lacking. For example, if you’re lacking confidence, you need to look at yourself in the mirror and confess out loud that “I am confident.” When you confess and speak life over yourself, you cancel out the negativity. Learn to tackle and conquer your mind because when your mind takes over you, that’s when you get depressed. ”
- Anonymous 4th year LLB student (UWC)
“The factors surrounding me failing a second year module last year had to do with illness and the university not understanding (i.e they denied me the opportunity to write the sick exam). Nevertheless, I could’ve been embarrassed by failing or I could’ve realized that I did my best and I couldn’t control when I would get sick and how it happened and during the time I suffered from migraines and how it occurred and when it would occur. But I knew that when I would repeat the module, I would have a mind-set of being successful and thinking of myself being a goal getter. I knew that I would strive for excellence and I could be embarrassed by sitting with people who are a year lower than me or I could take it and face it and be strong and realize that this happens and it is not the end of the world and it’s about how you tackle the challenge and not necessarily what others think about you because at the end of the day it was about me and not them and I was getting a degree for me and no one else. I pushed myself because I was capable and even though I knew it would reflect on my transcript as having not passed the module, I never looked it at that as a failure but as a growing point because that was the first module that started pushing me to achieve greatness and I did. I ended up getting mostly A’s for that module and my final mark for that module after the final exam was a B. For me it was just another module, another challenge that I needed to tackle and I knew that with God I would do really well and having written that module on the same day as one of my third year modules, (a year module – law of contract), I knew that it would be tough but I got through it and did well in both. So yeah, I think you learn from it and you realize that you can do well if you just push yourself. It was that one module that pushed me and now in my final year I have obtained five distinctions and the rest are B’s. In all honesty, I’m grateful for having experienced that because it unlocked my potential and it also unlocked my faith in God.”
-Bianca van Wyk, LLB Graduate (UWC).
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